


splinters

by aerynlallaboso



Category: Naruto
Genre: :'), M/M, Self-cest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-25 09:02:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2616104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aerynlallaboso/pseuds/aerynlallaboso
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe, Yamato reasons, all these years of ANBU have finally gotten to him, because letting his clone stick its tongue down his throat doesn't bother him nearly as much as it should.</p>
            </blockquote>





	splinters

**Author's Note:**

> a disclaimer: any inaccuracies in my depiction of the wood clone jutsu are to be taken as artistic liberty. (as well as any, uh, other inaccuracies. i think this is the first time i've ever written proper nsfw.)

The afternoon sun is high in the sky above Konoha today. It bathes the streets of the village in warm light and glinting off windows and the kunai knives strapped to Yamato's leg as he propels himself from one rooftop to the next, necessitating a hand above his head to shield his eyes when he stops to scan for his target.

Seeing nothing, he leaps to an adjacent roof and pauses to adjust his forehead protector, before remembering that it's not there.

Yamato grimaces, rubbing the back of his neck instead. This really is an unpleasant scenario he's found himself in - runaway jutsu? A chuunin attacked and injured by said jutsu? _His_ jutsu, although he supposes if one were to trace back to its original creator, this is technically Hashirama Senju's fault.

He'd said as much to Lady Tsunade after giving his initial report with Kakashi, and expressed the sentiment that the Lord First could've solved this problem faster and simpler than they're sure to. The Lady Hokage had shrugged and told him that if her grandfather were here, he'd probably spend a few hours laughing his ass off at the circumstances of the problem's creation first.

He sighs. In the streets below, a piece of metal catches the light and sparks his attention. It's about the right size for what he's looking for; he concentrates and catches a hint of his own chakra emanating from the spot. That has to be it.

The chakra thread grows stronger, moving down an alley between two large buildings. Yamato alights from the roof cautiously and follows it. He checks his pouches before he rounds the corner into the alley to make sure he's suitably armed, although he doesn't anticipate much of a fight. Still - his attempts to release the jutsu before had proved futile, and he might need to injure it before he tries again.

Entering the alley, Yamato spots it immediately, and it sees him, too.

"I knew you'd come," the wood clone says. Sun reflects off the forehead protector it's wearing: the one it'd stolen last night during its completely unexpected flight from Kakashi's apartment. It's also managed to acquire a full Konoha shinobi uniform from somewhere, which had been in the attacked chuunin's report. Basically, it's now the spitting image of Yamato's current state. Which he's somewhat thankful for.

(He doesn't think he could've ever shown his face in the village if it'd still been naked when it turned up. At the very least, Kakashi would never let him live it down, especially since Yamato had been the one to suggest 'the idea' in the first place.)

Yamato makes a quick dispel sign to check if he can undo the jutsu now; it doesn't have any effect on the clone, who takes a few steps down the alley towards him. "Why did you run?" he asks it curiously. "I don't know what you were hoping to accomplish. When your chakra is depleted, you'll disappear without me even having to release you."

The clone shrugs, getting closer. "It was crowded at Kakashi's place," it says. "I wanted to get you somewhere other people weren't."

Yamato blinks. That isn't the response he'd been expecting, and in fact sounds alarmingly as if Kakashi and Shizune's joint hypothesis that the clone is out to kill and replace him as 'the real Yamato' might be correct after all. "What? Why?"

The clone's approach is quickening; before Yamato can react, it reaches him in a few strides and grabs his wrists, pinning him up against the wall. Neither of them has an advantage in height or weight - Yamato could probably break the hold with a knee or a sweeping kick - but then the clone says, "So I could have you to myself."

Yamato can quite literally feel his mind grinding to a halt. "What does that-"

"Exactly what it sounds like," the clone says, and presses its (identical) lips to Yamato's. He makes to push it away, but it shifts against him in a manner that leaves him breathless all of a sudden. It knows, he realises with a jolt, exactly what buttons to push, because it's him. An irrational, wooden and apparently incredibly narcissistic version of him, but him all the same.

The clone seems to know it has the advantage, tilting its head sideways and moving forwards insistently until Yamato is kissing it back despite his brain screaming at him that it's a _clone of himself_ and he's likely close enough to forcibly dispel it _right now_ , what the _hell_ does he think he's doing?

Maybe, Yamato reasons, all these years of ANBU have finally gotten to him, because letting his clone stick its tongue down his throat doesn't bother him nearly as much as it should. He has the time. There's nobody around. The clone isn't running. So he continues kissing it, running his hands through its hair once it lets go of them in the way he knows it (he) likes and hoping to god a group of genin don't come running through this particular alley after a cat, or something. The clone pushes itself further against him, too, until he can feel its chakra-stimulated wooden heart pounding in its chest.

And then the clone slides its hand down his pants, fumbling around and getting a good grasp on the horrifyingly hard - situation it finds there. Yamato yelps and moans and considers drawing the line right here, like his brain furiously wants him to, but, well, he's come this far. He can't turn back now.

The hand begins stroking in a gentle rhythm - Yamato really has to compliment his own technique - and the clone breaks their kiss to lean back and smirk at his little gasps before Yamato pulls it back in, to mitigate his faint discomfort in seeing his own face with that particular look on it by dragging down the fabric covering its chin with his teeth and kissing down its neck.

The clone groans and slows its tempo, so Yamato moves his mouth to its ear and tells it to keep going, fisting one of his hands in its hair again and mumbling more encouragement against its lips and generally forgetting what he's supposed to be doing under the ministrations of the clone's skilled fingers.

He reaches a climax and comes quietly with a shudder and a sigh, relaxing into the clone's chest and panting until he catches his breath again. The clone stays silent; Yamato's not sure what to say to it. He'd offer to return the (frankly amazing) handjob it just gave him, but as much as he knows about its applications in combat and tracking, he doesn't know if it has the capacity to quite manage - that.

Luckily, the clone answers for him by rocking its hips into his and murmuring, "Now me," and Yamato obediently slips his hands past the waistband of its probably stolen pants and gets to work (desperately trying to avoid thinking of wood puns). His clone is louder than him, he quickly discovers, moaning and sighing and whispering something he can't quite make out into his ear. It kisses him again before it comes (somehow), slow and open-mouthed.

When it finishes, and Yamato withdraws his eerily non-sticky palms, the clone simply steps back and says, "I'm ready. You can dispel the technique now."

"Okay," Yamato says, staring at it. The contrast between its earlier demeanour and its current one would be vaguely surreal, if this entire experience hadn't raised the bar on what he considers 'strange'. He brings his hands up to make the release sign, but it swings up its own suddenly and exclaims, "No, wait, just one more thing," and moves back towards him again.

Yamato's never made a hand sign faster in his life, though he feels a touch regretful as he watches the clone vanish from existence in a cloud of smoke and clothing he'll have to return to its rightful owner (and his forehead protector), and then feels disturbed that he feels regretful. At least this means his mission has been accomplished.

Now he just has to figure out how to not mention _any_ of this in his report.

**Author's Note:**

> (just so you're aware, wood clones don't actually carry a risk of splinters.)


End file.
